Trouble sleeping

Sometimes I wake up because my heart pumps too hard when I dream about kissing her.

It isn't easy

Sometimes at night when trying to fall asleep I would get nervous about things. To calm myself down I would think "You love her, she loves you, and that's all that matters." Now I just stare at the ceiling.

Damn her

She's ruined half of my music library for me. There are a lot of great songs out there that I love that now only bring me sadness to listen to.

Happy holidays to all

I hope everyone has a pleasant and safe Christmas.



Yes, I realize that nobody actually knows this blog exists.

Christmas without her

We will be spending Christmas together but not "together". It's still feels weird and I'm not entirely sure how to act around her. It's hard not to hug her or call her "baby". At this point it is a deeply ingrained habit. I have a hard time calling her Melissa, I really never have. It's always been "baby" or "sweetheart". Anything else just doesn't feel right.

I miss you baby.